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Liner notes and song lyrics

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01 Losing Things
If you have lost yourself and you asked someone else
where you could find yourself...they would think you're crazy
LOSING THINGS

If you have lost something
and then you have found it...
...well that's good

If you lose something
and you can't find it...
...why, you can ask someone else

If you've lost your Self
and you ask someone else...
...they will think you're crazy

If you've lost your Self
and you ask yourself where you are
and someone hears you asking yourself...
... they will think you're crazy

If you have lost your Self
and you hear your voices
telling yourself who you are...
... you may think you're crazy

And sometimes it gets stale
and you don't want to do it anymore

You just don't want to do it anymore
02 Train Journey
This was another song about loneliness or separation. Riding on a train one winter evening travelling from London to Brighton feeling a detached observer from all my fellow travellers. A detachment brought about by my Dad's poor health and an intense awareness of transience and mortality
TRAIN JOURNEY

In your medieval clothes on a train journey
Checking the passengers
Watching the scenery
The man in the trench coat in the buffet car
Knows he's going nowhere
But he's paid his fare

Outside the scenery shifts
Focus the winter view
Inside commuters sit
I hope this train pulls through
If they finally get us
I hope that we go down in history.
I'll be so glad

I know you wonder where you're going
when you wake up in the morning.
The dreams that you dream
when you wake with a moan in the night.

My dad's not looking well
I hope he can pick up
The weather's looking strange
Christmas we'll drink our cup.

I'll do my best for you
And you'll do your best for me
And we'll get by.
03 Black Monk
I wrote this song after reading a disturbing short story with the same name by Anton Chekhov about a clever decent man's mental disintegration descent into an insanity that destroys its owner and all around. It rang some bells about places and faces I had been and seen. I don't know where in my head the words came from and it scares me a bit. Ollie is playing a West African 21-string lute-bridge-harp called a kora. He is also playing a wonderful six string Fender bass guitar and lots more. The late, much missed, Bob Irwin is drumming with his typical sensitivity to mood and meaning.
BLACK MONK

Listen to me now,
something great is going to happen,
when the lights goes out in this town
that's lost any use it ever had.

I'm going to fly away all on my own,
because I am ready to fly now...
yes, I...I'm ready to fly!

I've finished work on my fantastic machine...
And I? I'm ready to fly now.

There's a Black Monk inside of my head.
A black Monk that no-one can see.
His deep voice speaks strongly in my head,
and he only talks to me,
and he says I am ready to fly now.

Yes! I am ready to fly!

He has built a magnificent machine...
...and I am ready to fly!

My friends all regard me strangely these days.
My so-called friends are worried about me.
But I can't be bothered with them.
They are jealous, and they will never be free, but I...?
... I'm ready to fly now...

... very soon... I'm going to fly ...
...away on my invisible machine.
Yes! .... and I... I am ready to fly now!

Today the take away another part of my brain...
My Black Monk says he is a part of my insanity...
...but knowing that just makes me certain...that I ...
...I'm gonna be free...

...and I am ready to fly now...Yes!...I am ready to fly!

I've finished work on my fantastic machine!
And I am ready to fly!
Yes! I am ready to fly now!
Ready to fly now...
04 I'm A Believer
This song is by
Neil Diamond. It was a big hit for The Monkees back in the Sixties. All bouncy and bubble-gum. Which is sort of a pity, since it is actually a very moving song about the redemption from utter despair, brought about by a human face. 'And then I saw her face...and now I'm a believer'.
05 The Arms Of Strangers
And then suddenly she is gone. And with her your life and your dreams. And you are left in the company of strangers. And you can't join in the songs they are singing. Because you don't know the tune or the words.
THE ARMS OF STRANGERS

Pity don't flow like it used to.
Time to quit this crazy scene.
No fool quite like an old fool,
When the king is dead, and so is the queen

Left here in the arms of strangers,
Singing songs I've never heard
All the worn-out tools of my trade -
Broken dreams and broken words.

Your hair don't flow like it used to,
You never rest, you never strive.
No fool quite like an old fool,
Who needs to dream to stay alive

The money don't flow like it used to.
That rolling river is now just a stream.
The angels of God reach out to you
To bless your sleep and guide your dreams.

Broken dreams and broken words.
06 London Boy
London is dirty and mean and aggressive. And rude. Always has been. And, on a day when you are down, that's all it is. On a good day, though, when the life is pulsing in you, it is still dirty and mean and aggressive...and rude, but it also vibrates with a cosmopolitan energy and danger unlike any other city in the world.
LONDON BOY

Oh the stories that they told -
How the streets were paved with gold -
You could 'pull' a girl just like a toy,
But those days are truly gone
Life for living like a bomb

And I'm just a London boy
07 Where Could I Go?
'Where could I go? Seeking a refuge for my soul?'
This hymn by
JB Coats was a favourite on the gospel circuit. It talks about finding sweet solace within in a world of suffering and fear. I first heard it on a recording by Blind Rev. Gary Davis back in the sixties. Never been able to track it down since.
08 Des Moines
Being in transit, especially on trains, is great for reflection, and I write about it a lot. I used to often feel like I had no home, and I would look out of the train window, and see places that looked so lovely that I wished that the train would stop in the middle of the country, and I could climb out and just walk across the fields to that lovely little place where I could start a home. Then I found a home. For a while.
DES MOINES

Riding on this train.
I just got back from Des Moines.
Left that airport behind,
and I'm riding on this train,
and I've got you on my mind.

I try to read my book,
but I can't make the words fit.
Try to work on my report,
but I've got you...on my mind.

The people on this train are busy
working on their laptops,
and talking on their mobile phones.

I just travelled three thousand miles or more,
and oh, I got you on my mind.

This country where I belong looks so green,
and each little place looks like a place
where I could start a new life, but I...?
I got a home,
and you were on my mind.
09 Trouble With God
Being angry with God is the greatest vanity. But sometimes you get angry. Friend's die. Children get maimed. And you and a friend buggered and butchered your torsos and your minds completely and utterly until something went...and he could not recognise or remember you anymore. Or his kids.
TROUBLE WITH GOD

Who did you think was watching over you?
Who did you think was camped out on the coast
(waiting to repel invaders) huh?
Who did you think cared about you most?
Who did you think you were?
And who did you think was watching over you?
Who did you think paid the bills,
and helped to pull you through?

That won't happen anymore.
It's all over.

Who did you think was watching over you?
Who did you think made sure that the locks and bolts were secure?
Who stood guard by the windows and doors to your heart?
Who do you think cut the deals?
Cleaned the puke, and dried the tears, just like a friend?
And how did you think the story would finally end?

Nothing's gonna happen anymore.
It's all over.
Nothing good can ever happen anymore.
It's all over.

The best are mortal.
And the very very best are very very mortal.

Some creep of a God put my best friend's life on hold.
Yes a cross-eyed crackhead foul-smelling God stuck my friend's arse in a hole!
Some cretinous beery-breathed dirty-arsed God stuck my friend in a hole!

It ain't death, it's true, but it ain't living either!
He ain't dead, but he's never coming back!
He can see, but the Light has gone from his eyes!
He can talk, it's true, but it all comes out like crap!

And if I meet that God, I'll put him up against a wall -
he stuck my best friend in a hole!
That worthless punk, God, better not show his face round here -
he stuck my best friend's arse in a hole!

And who did you think was watching over you?
Who did you think was camped out on the coast
(waiting to repel invaders) huh?
Who did you think cared about you most?
10 Never Find Me
I shall overcome. I shall overcome. I shall overcome someday. Oh deep in my heart, I do believe, that I shall overcome. Someday.
NEVER FIND ME

I thought I had left you behind me.
I thought you wouldn't mind.
I thought you would never find me.
I thought you would be kind.

God will take me from here.
11 Good Time Boys
Don't drink. Don't think. Be a looking-fine good-time boy.
GOOD TIME BOYS

Don't drink.
Don't think.
Be a looking-fine good-time boy.
You have bought this record because you no longer want the stigma of being a thinking drinker.
You wish to be able to walk down the street, or onto the dance floor, bright-eyed and confident that you will not stumble or fall into deep contemplation. You want to be a looking-fine good-time boy. And this record will show you how.
12 The Old Town
I don't understand much but I know I'm in trouble...
my history with you has sure left its mark.
THE OLD TOWN

One last night, then you're leaving the Old Town.
It's neither here nor there, so dry your eyes.
Here today, gone tomorrow.
There's music blowing through the old town.

I can't hardly stand, and I'm seeing double.
I don't understand much, but I know I'm in trouble.
You know you have to leave - though maybe under protest.
My history with you has sure left its mark.

One last night, then you're leaving the Old Town.
You've been hurt, and you'll be hurt again.
Put your pretty pictures in your case,
and that ring on your finger.

Wear it like a charm.

Now there's a neon sign with one dark letter -
my history with you has sure left its mark.
So put out the light, seal the door and dry your eyes.
And dress up warm against the storm.

After you've gone, my name will be Jeremiah.
When you've left the Old Town, your name will be Ruth.
I hear a saxophone playing loud and clear through the Old Town
Make sure you dress up warm against the storm.

And dress up warm against the storm.
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We are I Dreamed I Was Awake and the album is called Dark Matter.
All words and music are written by Darris Golinski and Ollie Crooke, except track 4, written by Neil Diamond, and track 7 written by JB Coats. All music is performed by Ollie Crooke except for the late, great Bob Irwin on drums on Losing Things and Black Monk, Nelly Brousson vocals on Trouble with God and Betty Boo Hellela on Good Time Boys and some people recorded talking in the background in some pub in Wolverhampton, on Old Town.

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